An American Finds Love in Guilin China

I was born and raised in the USA. My first wife was from a different culture; the Philippines. Everyone has their own tastes but I find East Asian women the most attractive and generally, the easiest to talk to and get along with. Of course there are always exceptions but this has been my experience.

I met her in an online dating site in 2008. She did not know English and I did not know Chinese but the online service we used translated our letters for a fee. We've exchanged a month of letters every day until I decided to fly to China to visit her in person. I had never heard of Guilin before I started writing to my future wife.

Naturally I was both excited and a little anxious when the plane landed in Guilin. Would she be as beautiful in real life as she was in her photos? Would she be as sweet and caring as she was in her letters? Is there something she was hiding from me?

I had spotted her waiting in the arrival area past the large baggage claim area. It was a long distance and I wasn't sure. I knew her hair was long, straight, and jet black but there are a lot of Chinese women with this type of hair and there was a crowd just behind the velvet ropes dividing the arrival hall from the secure part of the airport.

My suitcase finally came and as I walked toward the arrival hall I concentrated on that one girl. It was her. She was just as beautiful as her photos and just as warm, friendly, and gracious as her words in her letters. She smiled as I approached and I greeted her by asking "Zhen?". She nodded her head yes and we both gave each other a hug and I kissed her on her forehead. We were at ease with each other from the instant we met. I was suddenly relaxed and relieved I wasn't disappointed.

Willow, the lady who had been translating our letters for us, was with Zhen. We got in the taxi and headed toward the center of Guilin, about 30 minutes away. What little nervousness we might have had quickly worn off and we laughed as Willow interpreted question after question. I noticed a little bump on Zhen's head. I asked if she had recently bumped her head and she looked at Willow and said a few sentences. Willow then told me that the bump had been there since birth. I told her that I thought she was an angel who lost her wings and that she bumped her head when she fell to earth. They both laughed at that.

We spent the day walking around the center of Guilin, along the Li River and ended up at a department store where I bought her a pocket translator. It had a little stylus that Zhen could write Chinese characters with and I could use to type on a simulated keyboard. It worked fairly well. We wrote back and forth using the little electronic interpreter and laughed at the mistakes and each of us waited as patiently as we could to read what the other one wrote. Back and forth, finding out more stuff, silly stuff, serious stuff, likes and dislikes. We knew we were meant for each other. There was no mistake about that. She told me we could start planning an engagement party. I was in total agreement.

Not only am I taller than most Chinese I am also quite a bit fatter too. At some shops even the largest robes fit me so tightly that I looked like a gigantic bright blue sausage. But after many, many laughs and stares we finally found a robe that fit reasonably well. Zhen had no trouble finding gowns that fit her. Zhen and Willow invited all their friends and family. That night I had to write a letter of my love toward Zhen to be read aloud by myself in front of the whole gathering the next day. Zhen had to do the same. It is just one more thing I found out about a Chinese engagement but if I could do this then surely I could do anything else that might be required.

At last we got married. It couldn't have been a simpler wedding. In fact we just visited a government office with all the necessary papers and was granted a marriage license. One for me and one for her. We had a wedding celebration party at a restaurant the next day with all her friends and family again.

It's been over 5 years since my wife came to the USA and her English is good enough to carry on a conversation with my sister since my sister is patient with her. My wife can also speak English well enough to carry on a conversation with the sales girls at the department stores she likes to shop at.

Oh, and language barriers? What language barriers? Love is the international language.

Not once has our marriage ever been seriously in trouble. We know the most important thing, by far, is being faithful to one another. If we are true to each other and have nothing to hide then the rest is easy.

As long as both people are true to each other and do not try to trick each other than the rest is easy. Trust is the most important thing. If both people in a relationship can absolutely trust each other than all other problems are easily overcome as long as there is still love.

I'm not big on giving advice but I would say that if you don't like the culture of the person you are dating then you are likely to have problems with that person sooner or later. It is hard for people to change their fundamental ways. If you are expecting someone to change who they are, then you will probably be disappointed.